Un voyage, deux raclures et beaucoup de rires*

* Not necessarily dans cet ordre.

La semaine dernière, I tried to visit un petit village called Eguisheim. Selon Google Maps, it would take environ une heure on foot. Almost an hour later: “accès interdit aux piétons”. Merveilleux, thank you so much Google Maps. I am not une voiture, therefore your directions for les piétons are complètement useless. In the soir, a group of us went to ‘Les Trois Singes’ for a drink pour fêter Victoria’s birthday.

The following jour I had to give a lesson on Bonfire Night. Sounds easy, non? I had a whole class to teach by myself pour une heure – which can go très slowly if a class doesn’t like your lesson. Heureusement there was a YouTube video which explained Bonfire Night in a way which was facile à comprendre and they then made poems about Guy Fawkes. Dans l’après-midi, there was a listening examen for all the élèves in classe de seconde. Armin and I were invigilating une classe and neither of us had done it before. Bonne idée, whoever decided on pairing us together! We coped, but it’s safe to say je n’aspire pas à faire invigilating encore une fois!

Friday was intéressant to say the least – en particulier, our evening at ‘Les Trois Singes’ (aptly named after les trois singes in papier-mâché hanging from the ceiling – only après numerous visits did I notice this, and before anyone asks if I was drunk on all other occasions, ce n’est pas le cas!). This was “la soirée avec the weirdest French men encountered so far”. Whilst chatting, deux hommes (un Français, l’autre Mauritanian) came over and asked where we were from. So far, a seemingly polite enquiry since we were speaking en anglais. We switched to la langue française and things turned a bit weird. Le mec from Mauritius kept telling Victoria “What happens in Alsace stays in Alsace”, même après she said she had a boyfriend. Les hommes français seem to interpret “non” as “try harder”. Après some reassuring lines of “Alsace is like Vegas, only more little” [sic] and if Victoria wanted to “go to his room tonight, next week, whenever let me know” they departed…to chat up une autre fille!

On Saturday, je suis allée à Belfort with Simone. Après une crêpe (avec jam for me) we walked to la citadelle – basically an old fort. Our €5 ticket enabled us to visit le musée d’histoire, le lion de Belfort, la tour 46, le musée des Beaux-Arts and – après getting a bit lost – le musée d’Art Moderne. Bizarrement, the tourist office was located outside la centre ville, in a place few tourists were likely to find. After un chocolat chaud (/thé pour Simone) we headed back to Colmar – at which point it was le temps for episode number two of creepy French men dans le supermarché, of all places: “salut ma princesse, on peut parler?” – what a creep! “une raclure” (= a creep) is definitely my mot de la semaine!


La citadelle


Le Grand Souterrain


Avec le lion de Belfort!

Even les Français appear to parler franglais; récemment I have been watching Qui sera le prochain grand pâtissier ? and one contestant came out with la phrase “c’est très short”, referring to a timeframe. I am now très happy dans the knowledge that even the natives like un peu de franglais. On le sujet de franglais, it is a necessary component in one class. I thought I’d never have to enter une laboratoire again upon dropping les sciences à l’âge de quinze ans. Five years plus tard I’m attempting (emphasis on that!) to help students describe their science projects in English. Quelques élèves don’t speak a lot of anglais and I am essentially their walking talking dictionnaire. La quéstion “what’s a (insert unknown mot scientifique ici) in English?” is occasionally traumatique for me!

Yesterday, j’ai fait des scones with Simone and her host family’s daughter…and nous avons mangé almost all of them!

Scones with Simone 19.11 (2)

Les scones

Les marchés de Noël start tomorrow…je suis vraiment surexcitée!

À la prochaine!


2 responses to “Un voyage, deux raclures et beaucoup de rires*

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